AGING IS AN ART: New Realities
John Heckel's Column, News
January 1, 2026

AGING IS AN ART: New Realities

By John Heckel  

In the coming year, I will turn 80 — a reality I sometimes find unfathomable. But given our national discourse, I find many of today’s realities unfathomable. What I find most troublesome however, is how I am coping with these realities.

Among my circle of friends, concerns surrounding aging, death and dying are ever-present. We constantly discuss various death and dying issues. I find it disheartening and annoying that I am using my age to “diseng-age.” I get committed to something up to a point, and then I realize I will be dead before whatever it is can be completed. So I let go — disengage.

Let me illustrate: Artificial Intelligence. We are entering a world in which our senses will no longer be able to tell what is real and what is not. The very concept of reality or what it means to be a human being is becoming unrecognizable. But we are who we are because of who we interact with — exchanges with the cashier at Murphy’s or the clerk at the Bayside Post Office are what make us who we are.

Last week I got my first AI phone call from “Olivia,” a computer passing itself off as a human. Today more than 50 percent of our daily interactions are with technology. But before the worst of it happens, well, I’ll be dead.

And our national discourse has gotten so bad that my own demise will seem a relief.

Then, there is climate change. I find I share this sentiment found on social media: “Climate change is a wimpy way of saying we have f***** u* our environment permanently… . I don’t know what’s gonna happen in the future, but I’m glad I’m not young. And I have no children.”

Don’t even get me started about economic inequality.

It’s not just about us old folks opting out by dying. In the end, it’s about all those still living when the worst happens. I am progressively more afraid for them. But then, I will be dead when the worst happens.

•••

Postscript. John writes: “Janet took her end-of-life meds at 5:33 p.m. on Dec. 15. She passed peacefully and quickly. Thank you all for your good wishes and company on this journey. We laughed until the end. She made the decision a week earlier, and our last week was so amazing for me, witnessing her clarity and determination, ever-present with her plan. Something inside of her clicked, she saw or experienced something, and she knew she was ready. Life (and death) is so amazing.”

John Heckel, Ph.D., is a retired HSU theatre and film professor with a doctorate in psychology, and a member of the Senior News Community Advisory Council. Contact: jh2@humboldt.edu.

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