New Town, New Friends
On Leap Year Eve 2020, I retired from the federal government. I thought I would be traveling to exotic locales, but COVID stopped my international travel plans.
Living on the East Coast, I visited national parks during the pandemic. This led me to move to Humboldt County in October 2020 to breathe clean air, hike beautiful paths, be with wise old trees and find a new life during retirement.
I moved here not knowing a soul and slowly have met many varied folks, some who remain friends, some who continue to be acquaintances and many who I realized were not a good match. Those friendships simply didn’t continue, and it has taken a bit of time to realize that it is OK. Despite the jingle from the Girl Scouts, of which I was a proud member, “Make new friends, but keep the old, some are silver and some are gold,” I realized that some are OK to discard and move on.
Most of us seek friendship: someone who can make us smile, laugh, explore new avenues, share stories or be a confidante.
How to be a good friend to another? I’ve learned to listen carefully, ask questions, share stories, be real and not fake and to take chances. Go ahead and smile and see if that leads to conversation. If not, it’s fine to move along to another potential friend.
I have found the courage to go out alone and be part of an audience at concerts, plays, performances, clubs and meetings, or to give hours to volunteer service, or to enjoy the varied music and dancing at Humboldt’s varied bars and music clubs. One never knows where it might lead.
My place of comfort varies daily and it’s important to give myself credit as I take a risk and move forward to find compatriots who might be friends.
It takes courage to put oneself out there, but what’s the alternative? Stay at home and focus on how lonely and sad I feel? That may be fine when engaged in a hobby, but craving company means taking a risk and seeing who might be doing something that brings joy I can share, and perhaps a moment of connection.
Cynthia Saunders, a new member of the Senior News Community Advisory Council, is building her connections in Trinidad.
