April 2026 - Laughing Matters, News
April 1, 2026

The Press & the Pastor’s Ass

A pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased that he entered it another race and it won again.

The local paper’s headline: PASTOR’S ASS OUT FRONT.

The bishop was so upset by this that he ordered the pastor not to race his donkey.

The next day, the headline was: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR’S ASS.

This enraged the bishop, who ordered the pastor to get rid of his donkey. So he gave it to a nun at a nearby convent.

Which prompted continuing coverage: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The bishop had a minor stroke. When he recovered, he ordered the nun to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.

The paper reported: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.

Apoplectic, the bishop told the nun to buy the donkey back and release it on BLM land where it could run wild.

Headline: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD & FREE.

The pastor and nun helped with the bishop’s funeral the next day. Everyone was very sad.

The moral of the story is that being overly concerned with public opinion can bring much grief and misery, and might even shorten your life.

So stop worrying about everyone else’s ass and cover your own. You’ll be a lot happier and live longer.

—Anonymous

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