Senior Social Hour

To the Editor:

This letter is prompted by John Heckel’s recent articles, “I Need a Hug” and “After Janet.”

In November 2024, after 52 years, I lost my wife, Judy Little. Much of what John wrote about the loss of his wife rings true for this widower. Judy suffered from COPD and dementia, both of which grew worse as time passed. During this time, affection and intimacy between us withered away. In my caregiver role, my loneliness grew more intense as her illness progressed.

Now that she’s gone, the loneliness and need for intimacy and affection persist. With this radical change in my life, I suddenly became “single male seeking female companion.” At 87, I describe myself as the Rip Van Winkle of the dating pool.

In this new role, I found that there is no easily identifiable group of 70and 80-year-old unattached attractive women. I will not go through my list of efforts in my search. But I began to wonder why there is no venue for widows and widowers to gather and become acquainted or reacquainted — a venue whose main purpose is such socialization.

How many seniors 70 and older of either sex are there in Humboldt County in my condition? How many might be interested in forming such a group?

Membership might comprise widowers and widows, couples and singles, 70 and over. We might meet once a week, say from 5 to 7 p.m. Fridays, someplace free with music for dancing, snacks and cash bar. Maybe alternate between Eureka and Arcata.

I do not think there is such thing as “group commiseration,” but such gatherings would also serve as a means for sharing and mutual support.

Jim Derden, McKinleyville