AGING IS AN ART: Lucy the Lifesaver
Some three days after my wife, Janet, died and my four-year stint as her carepartner ended, I — barely knowing who I was now — emailed my friend Mara to ask about dogs that might need adopting.
Whoever I was now, or would soon discover I was, after 24-hour-aday carepartnering for Janet, I was reaching out for help from a dog.
And Mara brought Lucy into my life!
Research has shown and common sense tells us that having a dog can significantly reduce stress and anxiety. Petting a dog “triggers the natural release of oxytocin, a hormone associated with feelings of relaxation and bonding,” studies show.
We all kind of know that. The internet is filled with articles about the mental and physical benefits of adopting a dog — “adopting” because I can’t bring myself to say “owning.”
What I did not know is that dogs live in the moment, and spending time with them can help humans do the same, providing relief from grief and anxiety. This was exactly what I needed. My life after Janet’s death and the end of my carepartnering responsibilities was one long anxiety-producing grieving process. I just turned 79, my wife died and I had no idea who I was.
Fortunately for me, one of my first discoveries was that I am still very much a dog person. So I now have a loving companion and don’t have to make this journey alone. Let the Lucy-induced oxytocin flow!
Edward Albee wrote an amazing play back in 1958, “Zoo Story.” I have produced and directed this play four times, never knowing how prophetic Albee’s words would become. The play’s characters, Peter and Jerry, struggle for ownership of a park bench in Central Park. Both are lost and neither knows who they truly have become.
The highlight of the play has always been the Story of Jerry and the Dog, a six-page monologue in which Jerry attempts to explain to Peter his latest attempt at finding an identity. At the end, he breaks down and states, “Where better to make a beginning … to understand and just possibly be understood … a beginning of an understanding, than with A DOG. Just that: a dog. A dog.”
With Lucy’s help I think I can do this.
John Heckel, Ph.D., is a retired HSU theatre and film professor with a doctorate in psychology. After a lengthy illness, his wife, Janet Patterson, died on Dec.15. Contact: jh2@humboldt.edu.
