Humor Has Its Place, Even at Hospice

People often assume hospice care must be quiet and serious all the time. And yes, there are many meaningful and emotional moments. But there is also a surprising amount of laughter.

When people reach their 80s or 90s, something remarkable happens — their filters disappear. Here in Humboldt County, that can get pretty entertaining.

Many of the people we care for have lived long, colorful Humboldt lives. Some worked decades in the logging industry. Some fished the Pacific in weather that would make most of us turn right back around and go home. Others arrived here sometime in the 1970s planning to stay “just for the summer” and never left.

Of course, the definition of a “local” in Humboldt is always up for debate. Some people say you have to be born here. Others say you just need enough years under your belt and a good story about the flood of ’64. Either way, it’s the kind of conversation that can easily last an entire afternoon.

By the time hospice arrives in people’s lives, most have very little interest in pretending anymore. Families gather around, trying to say thoughtful things while the patient is looking around the room like they’ve just wandered into a town hall meeting that is clearly running too long. You can almost see the thought bubble forming.

Before long, stories start flowing. Someone brings up how Humboldt weather can change five times before lunch. Eventually someone mentions the Christmas Flood of 1964, when the Eel River rearranged half the county. That story can always spark a lively debate.

Food is a serious topic at hospice. I can tell you that nobody suddenly asks for kale. What people want is pie. Blackberry pie, of course. Ice cream. Mashed potatoes. Gravy. Butter. If bacon is involved, even better.

Blackberry pie often prompts stories of berries picked along a back road in August, and then you may have a room full of people swapping berry-picking spots and pie recipes.

Then there are the beverage conversations. Might be OK if a loved one had a little whiskey? someone will whisper to a nurse. At this point in life, a small drink is rarely the biggest concern. Someone might even decide the afternoon would be improved with a margarita or a shot of tequila. Hard to argue with that logic.

And this is Humboldt County. Let’s just say some residents have also been known to enjoy a little “gardening.” Occasionally, a faint smell of herbal agriculture drifts through the house, and everyone politely pretends not to notice.

Visitors come and go. Stories get funnier. Someone inevitably brings up something Uncle Bob did in 1973 that was never supposed to be discussed again. And suddenly the room is full of laughter.

One thing hospice teaches is this: people who have lived a long life in Humboldt County usually leave us with two gifts: great stories and a very good sense of humor about the whole ride.

Those of us lucky enough to care for them get to hear those stories and laugh right along with them.

Tracy Craig, RN, is director of patient care services, Hospice of Humboldt.