The Value of Humor
We usually have a hard time finding good things to say about a person we find humorless. Beyond acknowledging that he or she is, perhaps, “hardworking” or “dependable as the day is long,” we end up at a descriptive loss for these folks pretty quickly. Since we know, as Thumper the rabbit used to say, if you don’t have something good to say about somebody, don’t say anything at all. There is a value to this discretion.
(Apologies, however, to all those who are now remembering being complimented as hardworking and dependable — we really do thank you for what you do!) We have more appreciative ways to acknowledge that singular thing that some people possess: the ability to make others laugh. Some people seem to have a special gift to see the lighter side of things, and we enjoy having folks like that around.
While some experts say the ability to laugh is strictly human, those folks have clearly never walked with their dog across an icy sidewalk or ever rode a horse who knew you had failed to cinch the saddle tightly enough. As these experiences show, it is also important to be able to laugh at yourself.
Humor by its nature is interactive, and we like people with a sense of humor because they usually can’t help but be generous with it. They spontaneously give it away, as humor works best when shared, even with an audience of one.
When it is working best, humor decreases tension and makes shared burdens lighter; humor shows its wisdom when it confronts absurdity in the world and chooses laughter over crying. Because, as we know, the world’s tensions and burdens and the absurdity of the world will always be with us, and if you can help me laugh about it, I will surely be grateful in your company!
On that note, however, if you believe that a good pun is the very apex of comedic accomplishment, please let me know this fact before we embark on a long car ride together.
Mark Lamers is a clinical psychologist in Eureka.
