When a Beloved Pet Dies

For many older adults, pets are more than companions. They greet us each morning, encourage us to go for walks, comfort us during tough times and give us love and a sense of purpose. So losing them can feel like a profound loss.

But others often minimize the loss of a pet. Friends might say, “You can get another dog.” Or, “At least you had many good years together.” These comments are meant kindly, but they can make someone who is grieving feel even more alone.

Take Margaret, a 76-year-old widow whose cat, Rosie, died after their 16 years together. Rosie stayed by Margaret’s side through her husband’s illness, his passing and the years after. When Rosie died, Margaret was surprised by how she grieved. Her house felt empty, her routines faded, and the loss of her husband became even sharper. She slept poorly and pulled away from friends because she felt embarrassed about her grief.

Frank, 81, had a different experience when his dog, Max, disappeared.

Their daily walks had given his days structure and helped him connect with neighbors. After Max was gone, Frank stopped walking and spent more time alone. He realized he was grieving not just Max, but also the loss of their routine, movement, social time, the feeling of being needed and the sense of unfinished business because the loss was so sudden and unexpected.

Animals support our health through their companionship and steady presence. They give our days structure, encourage activity and help us feel connected. When a pet dies, the loss can affect sleep, appetite, energy and overall well-being. And for seniors, a pet may be a primary companion through retirement, illness and other major life changes, making the grief especially hard. Recovery is not about forgetting or “getting over” the loss.

In my work as a grief recovery practitioner, we see grief as a normal and natural response to any kind of loss or change. It means holding on to the relationship and memories while adjusting to life after the loss. It also means letting yourself feel your emotions, so you can heal and, if you want, welcome another pet into your life someday.

Try talking with someone who understands pet loss, sharing stories about your pet or writing down memories. Grief does not follow a set schedule and while some days may feel easier, others can bring sudden waves of sadness and longing. Anniversaries, an empty sleeping spot, a familiar walking path, the place where food bowls were or coming home to a quiet house can all make the loss feel new again.

The bond between people and animals is real and meaningful, and it is closely tied to our well-being. When a pet dies, that relationship deserves to be honored, because grief can affect both emotional and physical health.

Your grief matters, and it is perfectly normal and natural.

Dani Crowell is a Humboldt-based grief recovery and somatic coach who helps people work through loss. See coachdanicrowell.com.